Food and body have been an issue for me literally since birth. In the hospital, I finished more bottles than any baby before me, and was so fat at six months, the doctor put me on skim milk.
Prior to the last ten years, I don’t remember ever not being on a diet, obsessing about food and worrying constantly about my weight. Weight and food defined me – I 100% believed I was my eating disorder. It defined my existence.
I don’t know another way to grow up really and am, therefore, so interested in the way others think about food and their bodies. I wonder how often other women weigh themselves and how much does that number mean? For many years, an unwanted number RUINED my day – nothing else mattered.
How many women want to lose weight? How many don’t care? How much time is spent thinking about weight? about food?
One thing I’ve never done is exercise. I hate it and would always rather have starved than moved. But I know plenty of people who feel driven to exercise to stave off weight gain. Who exercises solely so they can eat more? Who’s scared of not exercising because of potential weight gain?
Who eats when she’s sad or lonely or bored or tired? Or happy? Who eats to avoid feeling?
Do you feel guilty after a big meal? Do you try to starve for days after? Do you like yourself better when you’re eating less?
I have many more questions. Do you have any of your own? I’d love to know what other people wonder about.
And if you feel comfortable sharing some answers, please do. I truly believe ever one of us has a story. I also believe there’s much comfort to be found in knowing we are not alone.
Come join in.