I have always babied myself. If I felt a wee bit sick or “off”, I’d skip work, cancel plans or renege on commitments. It didn’t matter who was counting on me, I came first. I pushed myself to do…nothing.
These days, I want to show up for people and events. It’s absolutely the right thing to do. But now, I don’t know when or where to draw the line and say, “I need to cancel and stay home”. I’m so used to historically putting myself first – I don’t know when it’s actually appropriate to do so.
Today, I’m feeling pretty crappy. I made it to work, but that’s about all I’ve got. Work is my priority – if humanly possible, I get myself there no matter what’s going on.
Tonight, I have a few friends going to a function because I was planning to go. They can manage on their own, but for a couple of reasons, it would be better if I went too. I feel responsible. And yet, I feel like poop and cannot picture sitting through a function and getting home late. It wouldn’t be an option to leave early.
What do other people do? How far do you push?