Growing Bigger/Growing Up

My gaining weight seems to have something to do with growing up. I now have a real adult body.

For many years, I wanted a boyish look – no hips, thighs or boobs. As an anorexic in my late 20s, I didn’t get my period for several years – my body looked childlike and weak. And I liked it that way.

Always, I acted like a child. I never saved money or developed a career or built an intimate relationship or really learned, in anyway, how to truly take care of myself. Mostly, i focused on dieting and then drugs and alcohol – anything to avoid reality and responsibility.

But I’m not a child anymore, and I’m finally ready to accept adulthood and all that comes with it. Including the thighs.

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2 thoughts on “Growing Bigger/Growing Up

  1. I hope you will write more about how you went about making the positive changes that you’ve made. I love that you’ve recovered and “grown up” but I’d love to read more about the in-between days (which is also a great song by The Cure!).

    Like

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