For much of my adult life, I wouldn’t leave the house without full make-up for fear – literally – that I would scare people. That’s exactly how ugly I thought I was. I wouldn’t run to the corner to get the newspaper without eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, foundation, blush and lipstick. At the very least.
These days, I’ve pretty much stopped wearing make-up. Well, I might wear tinted lip balm, but that’s about it. Much of the reason stems from sheer laziness. I leave for work very early and have no interest in getting up a minute sooner to apply make-up.
And now I’ve gotten very used to my natural face. Sure, it looks more tired, older, and less bright, I suppose, but i just don’t care. I look like me. These days, I know I’m a pretty normal looking person, and that’s just fine.
The other night, however, I was going out and for fun, put on full evening make-up. Well, of course, the compliments flew all night, and they all centered around my face being done up. Endless people told me how amazing I looked and so “different”.
One woman said, “it’s not that you looked ugly before, but you just look really good now.” I wasn’t sure how to take that.
In the past, that would have been it – I would never leave the house again without, not just full make-up, but with an evening application. It would have verified for me that I was just as ugly as I feared.
But not today. Today, even though I happen to really like the way make-up looks and think it’s very pretty — I still can’t be bothered. Because I am NOT the sum of mascara, blush and eye shadow.