Finding Power Greater than ourselves which will remove the food problem is a big and important topic. And I know it can be workable for all – from my friend’s mother who spends each and every day in prayer at her church to the most vehement of atheists. So, I will address it this weekend, when I have time to write at length.
For now, I will say that this reliance on Power allows us to be free and in a different way than I’d expected. It’s freedom to vs. freedom from. It’s not actually freedom FROM food. I don’t count the days, months or years FROM my last binge.I’m not counting time at all FROM my last. That kind of thinking keeps me tethered to the food. “It’s 30 days SINCE..” That’s like living in the past. And suggests that I miss the food.
Instead, I don’t think about food when I’m not hungry. The obsession has been lifted. I am free TO live my life. Free to go anywhere and be around any kind of food, and not want it at all. I am present, right now.
There was a time, early on in recovery, where I did still envy people who could eat whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted and not seem to gain weight. And I could get green with envy about people like my best friend Frank who forgets to eat unless reminded – imagine, naturally not caring about food! Poor guy even drinks Ensure to keep his weight up.
But now, I can live free, like Frank. Food doesn’t own me. It’s not my master; I’m not it’s slave.
I have a great life with the freedom to always be just fine around food.