How have I been able to accept my bigger, plainer middle-aged body and self? I think some of it comes from accepting the truth. Life wasn’t better when I was younger, thinner and blonder. Lets look at the facts.
I got thin for the first time in high school. Having been the miserable fat kid most of my life, I believed with all my heart that losing 60 pounds would right everything. For sure, I’d be popular, get a much-wanted boyfriend and find happiness.
Instead, I became a weight and food obsessed angry teenager. I got really, really thin; however, I didn’t get friends, a boyfriend or happiness of any kind.
Sophomore year of college, I gained back all the weight and more. Then lost it again a few years later. Misery.
I stayed thin for many years, but found bulimia, alcohol and drugs. And still, no popularity, no boyfriend and no happiness.
It wasn’t until I started to heal, to find peace and serenity that I was able to make friends, date and overall, know some happiness. None of the people in my life care what I weigh. But everyone likes me better than when I was starving, miserable and angry!