I gotta be honest – with the weight gain, my boobs are huge. I still have a pretty small waist so, without wanting to, I sport a fairly va-va-voom look. I hate it. I loved when my chest was much smaller and the unwanted attention was a lot smaller too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My next door neighbor, Dave, always stares at my boobs. (As they ARE pretty big, he’s not alone.) He also comments on everything I wear and makes jokes with sexual innuendo. He can be really crass.
I like Dave. He’s a really nice guy, with a really big heart. If someone needs help, including me, he’s the first one there. He goes out of his way for everyone.
I know his marriage is pretty empty. I think he is very lonely. I also get the sense he hasn’t had sex in a long, long time. And I have compassion.
It used to bother me when he made his crude comments. I’d ask him to speak to me like he would want someone to speak to his beloved daughter. He raised an eyebrow, and said, “you’re not my daughter.”
Dave is about 12 years older than I am, but I actually see him as a father figure – he’s truly a caregiver. My dad was never in the picture and he’s gone many years now anyway . Maybe that’s part of why I find Dave’s comments so creepy. Boy would he hate to know I think of him as a father figure!
Today, for the first time, though, his comments truly didn’t bother me. I’d asked him to help me carry something, and he said, “the way you look in that shirt – I’d help you with anything”.
I shrugged. And felt no reaction – I didn’t feel creeped out, nor invaded, not insulted, not diminished. I shrugged. It didn’t touch me. He’s harmless. Who cares?
What if everything could roll off me that same way?
That would be triumphant!