I haven’t written in a couple of days – so much going on. An intense time – we all have them.
It’s been hard to focus – typical of me, but multiplied galore. I’ve found I don’t want to read (!!!) and my thoughts seem clogged.
But, but, but – no desire to overeat. No desire to use any substance to make me feel better.
I know that nothing from the outside will make me feel better on the inside.
And that, quite simply, is because of the 12 Steps. Seeing the truth and changing.
I told a sponsee, who might be reading this, not to talk about being abstinent from certain foods. That sounds like deprivation. Instead of saying, I was abstinent today, why not say, I was honest today
Honest about the truth about me and food – by nature, I don’t see food as fuel, I see it as relief. Food was my primary ‘relationship’ for most of my life. I ate when I was lonely, tired, scared and sad. I ate when I was happy, celebrating and perfectly fine. Food was more than food. It was everything.
Now, because of the Steps, food is food and I face life.
But life is not always easy or comfortable or joyous or anything like I want. But I still have to face it and deal.
And that’s what I’ve been doing. And ya know what, my answers are coming – none of them easy. But they’re the answers. Time to take action.