Three Funerals and a Wedding

Three funerals and a wedding. All in one week.

Life can be pretty unpredictable. So can death.

I am beyond thrilled for the joy of the wedding – good friends who got engaged on Christmas and married yesterday. Loved the radiant middle-aged bride in jeans, carrying a giant bouquet and wearing a huge grin.

I am deeply saddened by the losses. But truly glad that I’ve learned to experience pain. Back in the day, pain lead straight to bingeing – food, alcohol, drugs. At my mother’s memorial, I got so drunk that even the other drunk people were worried.

Today, I can be sad. Nothing from the outside (food, drugs, booze, shopping….) is going to make it better anyway. And in the long run, only worse.

I can also be present for the daughters, parents, grandparents and friends who have suffered these three losses. I’m not drunk at the wake or bingeing during the shivva call.

One of the women who died helped me create this blog. She sat with me as I designed it and encouraged me to write. I’d call her with thoughts and questions and she’d offer much better ideas than I had. She was a true friend. I will miss her terribly. But will remember her every time I post.

Rest in peace, Abbey.

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