Control Top Pantyhose

I can’t remember the last time I wore pantyhose and certainly can’t remember the last time I bought them. But today I need them, so I can wear a skirt to work at the restaurant.

Off I went to Walmart, assuming I’d find a large (and inexpensive) selection. But guess what? There was not one single pair of stockings that weren’t Control Top, and I DON’T DO CONTROL TOP!

Like my mother before me, I have a belly. Even when I was anorexic and my arms and legs looked like pencils, I still had a pooch. When I put on control tops, I truly can not breathe – there is no circulation happening. I’ve tried, I really have, but I can’t function in them. Although I am a very average sized woman, I’ve even bought Queen Size control tops, but then the stocking themselves bunch and sag.

So, today, I will be wearing pants once again, with knee highs.

Still, let’s look at this concept of controlling our tops – yet one more way of torturing women, if you ask me. (Of course, there are many ways to torture us, from stiletto heels to botox needles. Has anyone ever tried eyebrow threading?!)

But back to our bellies. What’s wrong with them? Why do they need to be controlled? Some people’s are naturally flat (you know who you are, sis 🙂 ), some people work to get them flat, and the rest of us have varying degrees of bulge. So what?

In many way ways, our stomach’s are our most feminine characteristics. They expand to house a human life as it grows! Pretty cool! Highly important!!!

Why not valuable?

(Oh and by the way, my sister – who sports like a 20-pack – says Control Tops give her a stomach ache. Sooo, who the heck can wear them?)

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