The Perils of Online Dating

So, I went on eharmony and connected with a guy, who seemed great. We talked and texted and when we met up, I really liked him. And was really, really, uh, really attracted to him. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed dressing up and going out and holding hands and flirting. The last few guys I dated were total cold fish who seemed horrified by touch. This guys showed lovely affection.

However, there were warning signs along the way – all of which I chose to ignore, because the dating felt too great.

So, I let go that he pretty clearly seemed not to be over his ex-girlfriend. And he’ll be seeing a lot of her soon for her work, which troubles him – as he’s not really over her.

I skipped our political differences – he was really that cute. And affectionate. And attentive. (I know, I know – all of you happily married readers are having heart attacks. Overlooking politics in this day and age!!!. Try being single for 54 years and we’ll talk. Yeah, yeah, I know – in all honesty, it couldn’t have worked.)

It got a little harder when he said liked smoking – a substance that’s more easily bought in Colorado. But again, I let it go. On the second date, he smoked a little. On our third date, I wondered if the waitress could smell it. During our fourth and last date, he lit up all night in my apartment. Still, I told myself – to each his own.

Yes, yes, there were humongous warning signs, but wait until you hear the actual deal breaker.

We got a little more intimate and in the middle of our playfulness he said, “you know, you’re only a few 30 minute abs classes away from a great body.”

DONE. No, no, no. I’ve worked way too hard and way too long to accept this old body of mine. It’s just fine. In fact, my last few boyfriends loved my body and constantly told me to leave myself alone and stop picking on it.

I think that’s one of the problems of ‘dating up’ looks-wise. My online date was way better looking for a man than I am for a woman. And HE works out a lot and is pretty proud of his abs.

I’m not giving up, tho. There is someone out there for me – an available, liberal, clean and sober hand-holder 🙂

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6 thoughts on “The Perils of Online Dating

  1. I would have countered with, “You know, you’re just a few inches away from actually having a dick.” What an asshole. I’ve had men say that to me, too. Now I don’t date at all, and guess what? I haven’t had my feelings hurt in three wonderful years.

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  2. The funny thing for me is that eHarmony pretty much told me not to sign up – not enough potential matches!! (yes, really) Even in online dating, being outside presumed norms is challenging, and even matchmakers have rejected me … again it is all about numbers and success rates. So, I just go on hopeful as you are, that one day I meet an enlightened, intelligent man with a good sense of humor who can forego numbers and norms… ever the optimist, I know :)!!!

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  3. Thank you for writing! Dating really isn’t for the feint of heart, is it? Neither is being single. Yes, let’s stay hopeful. (Even tho it’s not always the easiest!) Love, Melissa

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  4. going forward, getting old is not for the feint of heart either, well, unless your have confidence that you are right, and then, well, you are not feint of heart. You made the right choice. Existentialism says that to do anything that detracts from the potential of life is less than optimal.

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