Dating and Trust

It’s very hard for me to trust a man. I’ve worn my heart on my sleeve way too many times, and it’s been ripped apart way, way too many more.

The new guy I’m dating is smart and funny and adorable and really, really sweet and kind. He’s all ‘guy’ (fixes things, hangs with his buddies, drinks beer), but he’s also so open emotionally. I have yet to find anything wrong with him.

HOWEVER, I met the guy before him, Jake, on an online dating site too. Jake told me he wanted a real and committed relationship. We saw each other quite a bit for a few weeks and had a great time. He texted, he called, he wanted to see me. I really started to like him. Once or twice, his last girlfriend came up, but that happens. Until one day, he told me that he really wasn’t over her and that he was in touch with her and probably going to start seeing her again, so we should probably table ‘us’.

But – did I want to have sex one more time?

The guy before that, Kevin, I met through a dear friend. Great, great guy – fascinating career, cool interests and a lot of fun. He pursued me, told me he was finally at the point in his life where he wanted a real and committed relationship. We had a wonderful few months. Then he got scared. He told me he just couldn’t be in a relationship. It just wasn’t him. And he disappeared for a couple of months.

Then, he showed back up. Did I want to have sex?

The guy before that, who shall remain nameless, was super smart, funny, inspiring and motivating. We had a wonderful few months together – some of the best I’ve ever had. But then I got way too acquainted with his really bad temper. I stayed a long time, because he was so smart and funny and motivating, but when he hit me – I finally decided to leave.

And we won’t even talk about the men before that.

Soooo, here I am. Here I am with this super nice, cute, smart, funny, ATTENTIVE dear guy.

Hard to believe – I’m actually willing to try again. Idealist? Glutton for punishment? Playing the odds?

We’ll find out.

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